In a totally abstract fashion, the way Cliff Curtis as “Searle”. Is completely blown away by the power of the visual experience looking into the sun, ”for me” translates to something like the ”mystical experience” that I had while skydiving.
The clip bellow is a trance piece ” Alex M.O.R.P.H. – Sunshine (Nitrous Oxide Mix)” made by djmarkr1972 who does a fantastic job mixing Sunshine imagery with the track. He’s done a great job and brings the thing together to amplify “Searle’s” experience in a totally hypnotic and powerful way.
God or what I identify with as “cosmic consciousness” is every where, it is in the tiniest details of nature and it is plainly evedent when you look up at night and see the stars the moon and the planets. Nature is my God
Butterfly on my finger
The child whispered, “God, speak to me”
And a meadow lark sang.
The child did not hear.
So the child yelled, “God, speak to me!”
And the thunder rolled across the sky
But the child did not listen.
The child looked around and said,
“God let me see you” and a star shone brightly
But the child did not notice.
And the child shouted,
“God show me a miracle!”
And a life was born but the child did not know.
So the child cried out in despair,
“Touch me God, and let me know you are here!”
Whereupon God reached down
And touched the child.
But the child brushed the butterfly away
And walked away unknowingly.
“Now, there’s the God they taught me about at school. And there is the God that’s hidden by what surrounds us in this civilization. That’s the God I met.”
Joseph Kittinger.
First Man in Space – Skydiving From The Edge Of The World
To me that blueness of the ocean and sky was the most beautiful experience . As you shear toward the Earth, when you look straight down at the sea its a different sort of colour than when you look of to the horizon and you can see the sand bars beneath its surface, Its glassy, you can see the waves but they are so tiny it all looks like crystal clear wrinkled paint. That part is exactly like what you see when you fly somewhere on a jet liner except that you get one massive gob smacking view of it all. It doesn’t move or at least so much is happening you don’t notice the movement and your to high to see it getting any larger at that point so you sort of have a weightless experience like you are floating in outer space above the earth, except for the wind screaming past you that is and so it translates in strange way to quitness, just the one sound sort of ”white noise”, very load and nothing at the same time.
Its the reality of what is taking place as you unrelentingly shear toward the face of the earth that just wreaks havoc with your sensibilities. Witnessing the the land racing up toward you is at once both phenomenal, frightening, hideous even! But then you look toward the horizon and it is totally uplifting, heavenly, spiritual.You can see little decks of clouds that slowly move up as you head the other way.
Only when my ego had completely crapped itself and disappeared, the true reality came into view for a precious few seconds.
The Mystical
It certainly was not the “Christian” god on high in his clouds and heaven kind of thing.
It was all feeling. It was like a consciousness and it was coming from the earth its self! Completely loving and all knowing and it was in me too at the same time, i was connected to it, a oneness! In that instant I was able to see there is something greater than us, that we are not alone, destined to a finite time whilst alive and then an infinite nothingness. I never have felt so connected with the earth than when I was falling towards it from 14,000 ft and death is an illusion.
Is there anybody in there?
Intelectual missery
In time I have intellectualised the notion of “god” out of existence which has lasted for more than 25 + yrs. For the first time in a long time, I felt the presence of what I can only describe as a “greater conciseness”. Thinking further I have felt a similar thing before when I was younger. I had no words for it at the time, Just the awareness. These moments were transitory, usually in seconds and were surrounded by a pure essence of other worldliness, these moments have a timeless quality, they are powerful and comforting. And the more I think about almost all of my child hood memories I see now that they were all imbued with this feeling, The memories of my child hood in particular were either those of extreem fear or extreme happiness and at other times it was a feeling of extreme presences and oneness. In all these moments I now believe that the monkey mind was quited. In other words the two true emotions that derive all others Love and Fear where when I was most my self with out artifice or ego. Its also kinda sad to think those moments have been so few and far between for the later part of my life but I am going to change that.
“After 20 years, you analyze a lot. You remember people, heroism. “The Miracle of the Andes”, that’s what they called it. Many people come up to me and say that had they been there, they surely would have died. But it makes no sense, because until you’re in a… situation like that… you… you have no idea… how you’d behave. To be affronted by solitude without decadence or a… single material thing to prostitute it elevates you to a sprititual plane, where I felt the presence of God. Now, there’s the God they taught me about at school. And there is the God that’s hidden by what surrounds us in this civilization. That’s the God I met.
Joseph Kittinger.
First Man in Space – Skydiving From The Edge Of The World
Lyrics to In A State : By Unkle
My mind is in a state
‘Cause all i seem to do is tempt my fate
Well i try every space
But all the while we’re crushing at the gate
This time, this time
Reality struck me between the eyes
My mind is in a state
‘Cause everything i miss it comes too late
So i try and disappear
But there is only one way out of here
This time, this time
Reality struck me between the eyes
My mind is in a state
But all i need to do is change my pace
And i know there’s fear to face
But happiness is firm in its embrace
This time
A little bit of recent history for your information.
In the days preempting my sudden decision to do a sky dive (the second jump actually, the first being for my 30th birthday) I would have been comfortable describing myself as a pragmatic, atheist/nihilist. I remember being under an intense personal pressure to “face my fears” inspired in part by Ian Brown’s song “F.E.A.R”, but also I guess I was going through one of my regular ”fight club moments“. This is also the first time that I realized that I truly am a masochist. I had avoided that word in my inner dialog before now because of the obvious psycho-sexual quip that is a constant souse of humor in pop culture and which does not describe me very well at all “well maybe just a little”. Ok, I like a little pain but doesn’t everybody? Anyway It recently occurred to me that many people are naturally masochistic, it’s actually a part of the human condition it would seem. Doing some research into the word masochism a broader understanding of the word becomes clear.
masochism - noun
1.
Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.
2.
gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one’s own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
3.
the act of turning one’s destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.
4.
the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.
Ignore the first and maybe the last points and focus on the middle two, because that is what has mush broader implications for all of us.
If you consider them very thoughtfully it could be applied to many normal behaviors and also many psychological ailments out there. Bulimia, anorexia, anxiety, paranoia, even machoisum, the list goes on and on. Why do we humans so love to drink, smoke, take drugs, get into fights, gamble etc, Go on scary rides at a fun park? Do just about anything fun and you might be at risk of being a masochist. Still not sure? Then how about watching the evening news? Why bring such pain into your life? Watched any horror movies lately or thrillers? Actually watched anything lately? Tension is always the backbone of any good movie, play, book or television show and tension has a close cousin called anxiety. Bring me a person who isn’t a masochist on some level in some way. There are some people who are not, but they are very rare individuals indeed.
The promise
So on the day before I picked up the phone and booked myself in for the jump my inner masochist prodded me with a very lucrative promise, ” facing my fears and I would become the owner of myself and ruler of my destiny, along with it was a feeling of self worth, glory, even power! After all you’ve gotta die sometime right? So jump the chasm youve nothing to lose, do it!” I just needed some guts thats all. “Hmm” I thought. “easier said than done”. “The “Ego” is a very complex creature indeed, some times its actions are positive and sometimes plain dangerous, not all bad and not all good and this time I guess the Ego, “the monkey’s” cruel pleasures had gone to far.
Why was this decision to do the scariest thing I could imagine the catalyst for transformation? Looking back, I really don’t know. Maybe I had popped a diode, was it a crisis? One thing I can say for sure the Monkey would never have expected such an outcome, because it exposed its one true weakness to me and in doing so gave me the answer to how I want to live my life.
What happened?
When you stare into the abyss the abyss stares back at you.
On the way out the airplane door I pop an even bigger diode, this time that diode was the monkey itself! The one that had hidden my true nature from me for so long had vanished for at least a few moments. The monkey “metaphorically speaking”, crapped itself and ran away. In those first few seconds plunging headlong into the yawning abyss of fear and uncertainty that opened up before my startled eyes, all pretense promulgated by the ego now extinguished and a silence befell me like nothing I have ever experienced before, leaving what I now know as my true being, my real inner essence took in all that had been hidden my the monkey mind and at that moment I knew there was someone else inside me and not just the monkey I had identified with as “myself” all this time. I had to know what on earth just happened!
Well here we are. No expectations if you don’t mind because I haven’t any.
Hmm, Id like this thing to be a thoughtful investigation into why we self righteous apes with no hair who call our selves human are “here” and what “being here” means, both in the here and now and in the greater scheme of things, It would be nice to take on some crazy philiosophical questions and get away with it but we’ll see what happens. I dont hold any notion as to how this thing will evolve but Ive got a general idea and plenty of material and web references up my sleeve to get the old ball rolling.
Might start by linking one of my favourit clips from the Boards of Canada – Everything you Do is a Balloon
Anyway It recently occurred to me that many people are naturally masochistic, it’s actually a part of the human condition it would seem. Doing some research into the word masochism a broader understanding of the word becomes clear.
